Me: My Past, My Present, and My Future


    Hi there! So this article, my first article on this website, is pretty much an ‘About Me’. Although there is already a completely separate ‘About Me’ section on this page, look there- up there near the top of this page⬆️yep, see it? Haha. That link, if it pleases you to click on it, will open up a very-toned down, much more brief version of what I am writing here. I admit this is a little difficult, dare I even say intimidating! .. writing about oneself can be one of the toughest subjects to put words to, since there’s so many different angles you can take- including the one that may (completely opposite to what you intended to do) put you in a BAD light, i.e. make you seem self-centered and egotistical, in enumerating your accomplishments and deeds. Which is just one more reason why we should put ourselves in other’s shoes, and realize: HEY, maybe that’s NOT what their intent wasmaybe I was too quick to judge.

    There are many many lessons to be learned by examining our own faults closely; in fact, I believe this is where most of our wisdom intrinsically comes from. Amusingly, I just thought of a tweet that i read earlier, one that I had re-tweeted sometime last year (this occurred while i was examining and pruning my ‘professional’ Twitter account for way-too-personal tweets that had accumulated there during my periods of depression over the past year) (my sentences get SO run-on, don’t they? ^_^) please stay with me here.. Anywho, I tend to re-tweet ‘words-of-wisdom’ types of tweets, and this particular one stated, “we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others” (author unknown).  True, so true. I try to live my life by remembering, always, that one just simply does not know the reasons why many things happen. Even those things that you know SOME of the reasons for, are still results of other factors that you may NOT be aware of. Understanding- understanding THAT idea specifically, is a very important lesson to get under your belt in the journey of growing up. There are people who die every day, who never even acquired that. Maturity does not come from age as much as from opening your heart and mind. So here’s what happened. Yesterday was a very enlightening, eye-opening, exhilarating day for me. It’s just so funny to me, so AMAZING really, when things happen, and you don’t realize it necessarily at the moment, but maybe somewhere down the road you do.. That that thing happened for an important reason. That it is in fact tied very intimately to other ‘things’ in your life. Like missing puzzle pieces being found. ‘AH-HA’ kind of moments. Ever have those? Let me talk a little bit about my background and history, before I tell you exactly what happened yesterday. Maybe that way, you will see the puzzle pieces clicking together, like I did.

    First of all, let me tell you a few things about myself; my habits, if you will. There’s 2 major issues that I have- and I call them ‘issues’, because they are things about myself that I have never really been pleased with, but never seemed to set my mind to fixing correctly. The first one is disorganization. I am a magnet for clutter, both physically and mentally. As I have gotten older, and my children have gotten older (and less messy!) the physical part has improved quite a bit. Piles of clothes still seem to quickly appear seemingly out-of-nowhere, and paperwork (oh paperwork.. 😩) still accumulates endlessly all over the place (both of which irk me as much as the next person, but I just can’t seem to get it together!). However, I’ve definitely noticed improvements as far as how much I will let aforementioned items accrue before I finally tackle them. My second issue, which bothers me much more by far, is my tendency to not finish things I’ve started. It goes deep, too. I’m talking about starting a new tube of toothpaste before completely emptying the prior one, same for loaves of bread, jars of peanut butter, and business projects (a great example being the fact that I have owned my website domain since August 2015, and over 2 years later, I am JUST starting to develop the site). This also reeks of procrastination, which is a whole ‘nother ball of yarn. More on that one at a later date.

    Anyway, of far more concern than the toothpaste and peanut butter, is the business thing. It all really started when I was just 20 years old, in 2001, right before September 11th happened. I had my own computer for the very first time-  well, it belonged to another member of my household- but I had access to it pretty much as often as I wanted. This was when I first became active on the internet. What a world of possibilities and opportunities to be found! I was amazed. And very naïve. I found a get-rich-quick scheme, quite easily, (who couldn’t?), and with my nice shiny credit card (correction: my MOM’S nice shiny credit card) willingly charged over $4000 to it, BINGO, in just a few short moments. The company was connected to an herbal supplement and weight-loss product company (which I won’t name, since as far as I know, THAT company is a legit business that does well, and I don’t want to have any negative impact on their name), and almost in the blink-of-an-eye, I had almost $4000 worth of weight-loss pills and powders sitting in boxes in my living room. I remember a sinking feeling in my stomach as I looked at all those boxes, wondering what the HECK had I gotten myself into?! To make a long story short, most (most being about 99.5%) of those products ended up being sold at an EXTREMELY discounted price to a fellow ‘distributor’ (as we were called)… and I also ended up filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy a few years afterward. What a way to begin adulthood. However, even with all of that negative experience, still I knew that the internet contained riches to be had, and I was intent on figuring it out one day- how to tap into that fortune-to-be-made.

    From there, it was one business idea after another, everything from selling custom-made wedding gowns, to flipping real estate notes, to becoming a children’s book author, to being a successful eBay seller. Maybe as I am telling you this, you are thinking that my passion was actually in just getting-rich-quick somehow, but really, I simply wanted to be my own boss. Especially having two young children during those years, and needing to have a job-a decent-paying job– was a requirement- but having a flexible job- one where I could decide on what hours I wanted to work, was way more desirable. I didn’t want to be ‘rich’ as much as I wanted to be ‘comfortable’. I wanted to keep my full-time job completely intact (being a mother) (which runs very deep for me, since my early childhood consisted of having a single mother who had to work all the time and was barely seen), and I also wanted to be able to get rid of the constant dread of never-enough-money. I hated looking at our bank account, hating seeing the credit card debt continuously increase, never decrease. Worrying about the electric getting shut off because we were so far behind in payments (which thankfully never happened, but our phone and cable did get shut off a few times)- it’s real fear.  Didn’t need to live in a mansion, but also didn’t want to live a life of fear.

    So my latest, greatest, idea for a business has been in the works since 2010. Have I made a penny from it yet? Nope. Not a one. But I knew, getting into this one, that it would be a while before I would be able to get to that point. I’ve been through so many scams, and have become quite savvy about spotting them. This idea, however, was far different from all of the others. How, you may ask? Because THIS one is ALL ME. It started from a ‘hobby’, a desire to improve myself physically, with no intent for money to be involved. But as time passed, and I gained knowledge, I began thinking that I could share it. That i SHOULD share it, and make money doing it. That, I realized, was the best kind of job for me to have. I have always been a person who likes to help others, in any way that I can, and to be able to do that while earning some bucks? Heyyyyyyyy. My kind of career goals. As the thought progressed, and I started working with it to eventually turn it into a profitable business, it turned out that I was able to marry other hobbies with it.

    Reading has ALWAYS been a great passion for me, but also, as I mentioned earlier, I enjoy writing as well. A book appeared after many months (ok, years) of dedicated effort- book written by ME! Although some ideas have since changed, and others have evolved, still, it remains that I possess an entire book written by my hand. That is SUCH an awesome feeling!! More on that in a minute. So this business idea is currently still in the works, still being shaped, and still journeying from idea to reality- but it will get there. No matter what happens, this one is my keeper. The best part of it is, that proof that the system/program that I want to teach (which is another passion that I have- teaching what I know to other people) (are you seeing all of these pieces fitting together?) will only become more and more abundantly clear with time. Please say a prayer for me, that for once, I will finish (and by finishing, i mean ‘achieving my goals successfully) what I have started 😁

    So, back to yesterday. Actually, (sorry!) one more slight step back, since I want to tell you, that of COURSE, I still have other money-making schemes constantly brewing in my brain. That’s a no-brainer, it’s just part of who I am. As of this past summer, we moved out to Oregon, from New Jersey. I had been a school bus driver for 16 years, and it seemed a meaningful coincidence that we moved into an apartment which stood only a block away from the major school bus provider in our area. However, as time passed, from summer to fall, several things happened. For one, I realized that I had absolutely NO desire to go back to being a school bus driver (for various important reasons, which I intend to share with you in upcoming posts), and also, I just couldn’t (can’t, since this is also the feeling of the present) shake the feeling that this is the time of completely new beginnings. I mean, yes, a move all the way across the country, from an eastern coastal state to a western coastal state, is definitely a new beginning, a big change, different and exciting- but I just didn’t know what a BIG difference it was going to turn out to be.

    I am just so HAPPY here, so at peace.. the air, jeez, I just can’t get over how cleaner and fresher the AIR is here. I still wake up in the middle of the night occasionally, just to breathe deeply of the intoxicating sweetness of it. It’s incredible. The people are so different too- I mean there’s jerks everywhere, but here, it seems that the difference in the ratio of nice people:jerks is much much greater. I smile at people, and they actually smile back! And often, oh, how it still catches me off-guard and amazes me every time– when I look at another person’s face here- a complete stranger, mind you- THEY ARE ALREADY SMILING at me! I don’t want to paint NJ in a bad light, that is not my intent in the least. But I lived there for 36¾ of my 37¼ years on this earth, and I don’t speak rashly, nor in an arrogant exaggerated manner- this is from my personal lifelong experience. I miss my family terribly, but I wouldn’t move back there if you paid me to. Truth. It’s just such a better overall atmosphere here, and I absolutely LOVE it. Moving so far from everything I knew was very scary and overwhelming, but every day that I have been here, I have fallen more and more deeply in love. 

    Another truth- there’s actually two complaints that I have about this place, up to this point- (1.)the pizza (ohmygoodness the pizza I’ve had here has been so terrible thus far (🤢), and (2.) while not a complaint per se, but rather a disappointment and a frustration, is the terrible amount of homeless people here. Being a Christian, and an extremely sensitive person, this has been quite upsetting to see on a daily basis. I would like to help them, but as of right now, besides giving one of them a few dollars here, a bottle of water there, or a blanket over there, I’m not sure of the best route to take with that yet. But I desire to learn more, and I will. Learning, to me, is the zest of life.

    So, it is a new beginning in many ways, and I am quite intent on definitely making it a new beginning for my success in the ‘outside’ world, as well. Although I have been unemployed for a few months now, still I keep a positive mind, and my eyes are set on improvement. I live every day with the goal of improving from the me of yesterday. I am the kind of person who believes in bad moments in a day, rather than in bad days. Glass half-full? Yep. That’s my personality, through and through. Amazingly right on the mark! (Those personality tests are free, I dare you to give it a try!) It’s tremendously insightful.

    So as for having an actual paying job, I’ve been thinking of what I’d like to do- again, as always, it’s been the search for flexibility with decent pay. I have been thinking I’d like to be a tutor, which would not only give me that flexibility, but also allow me to work with my passion for the English language (and that teaching thing again!). It could work out, but that remains to be seen. I have not yet worked with any students. Online tutoring would be optimal, but I am still looking into that whole idea.

    Finally, we have arrived at ‘yesterday’ and its revelations. You still there?! 🤣 So, yesterday, I decided that I should find a part-time ‘reliable’ job, until I can get the tutoring thing going. By reliable, I mean an hourly-paying-job with an established company, i.e. a minimum-wage job. Not something I really WANT to do, but I need income. During my online adventures yesterday, while filling out applications, I also started filling one out for a tutoring service. Part of the process with that company is to have a video interview recorded, where they have a few preset questions such as “Why do you think you would be a good fit for this company?”, and your responses are recorded and uploaded to them. I decided to do a few practice questions, to see what I looked like, how I sounded, and whether I was able to present myself professionally. While I thought that I had answered the questions thoroughly, I INTENSELY disliked what I looked like and how I sounded. I didn’t come across to myself as looking professional at all. It was quite upsetting and a bit shocking, because I noticed quite a few things about myself that I just wasn’t pleased with.

    So, surprising to my character (sarcasm 🙄), a few minutes later, I found myself on YouTube, with the intent to watch tutorial videos on speaking in a more professional manner. A funny thing happened, and that is what started the ball rolling, the reason why I am now HERE, TODAY, writing you this giant essay on my life. Haha. The ever-elusive missing puzzle piece I’d been searching for, has finally been found! Before the video I had picked to watch could even load, I had to sit through an ad. Unusual, right? 😉 But this ad, this ad spoke so deeply to me. To ME.. I felt like it was put there JUST FOR ME (it was, I know now). Instead of watching it for the obligatory 15 seconds and then clicking to watch my video, I found myself wide-eyed, staring (maybe even with my mouth hanging open haha!), and just absorbing every bit of information I was hearing. Gulping it down, because I couldn’t WAIT for it to end, so I could start researching fully what the guy was talking about.

    First, I clicked directly onto his site. I wanted to see his presentation, what he was offering for free, and what he actually wanted money for. Nothing wrong with that- being paid for giving someone information sounds like a really great deal. However, since I’ve been-there-done-that-before (too many times!), I am very wary of people on the internet trying to get me to pay them money while offering me only false promises. As it turns out, this guy seems to be legit, with a real system for making good money. But I knew that he had already provided me with most of the information for me to learn to do what he was doing, for free. I am no genius, but I’m no idiot either. Which brings me to my next point. Even though I have long had interest in using technology to make myself some money, the base issue with me doing that has always been my lack of interest in technology itself. I love to read and research, but I never felt the need to understand things like what a ‘widget’ is, or what ‘RSS’ really stands for. I am NOT the type of person who is adjoined at the hip to my phone (actually I hate talking on phones with a passion), nor, at this moment (although I plan on making a business account soon) do I even have a Facebook account. Unbelievable? Believe it. Because of my lack of interest in learning the technical stuff, I let it get in my way. It deterred me, because I let it. If I set my mind and interest to something, like most people, I can learn about it progressively, given some time. But if I am NOT interested, out comes the procrastinator in me.

    So after deciding that that guy’s method (he signs up for affiliate programs) for making money made good sense to learn for myself- with my interest totally piqued, I started reading. And reading. My notebook quickly went from having 5 open tabs to having about 30 open. Since yesterday, I really have picked up a lot of useful information, and I fully intend to put it all to work for me. Here’s some of the sites I’ve been reading- I’m recommending them to you, because they are very helpful and easy to understand. I have no connection to the authors, other than that I avidly read their stuff. Those links will not make me any money, but I would love if they would help you to!

    Since I already owned a website, it was just a matter of learning how to get it to do what I want it to do. I love writing, so that’s the easiest part of it all. With my site set up in this way, I don’t have to buy any products, or sell anything myself- no real risk- and nice potential for a huge return. Hopefully some income will come from it soon, which  will indeed spur me to keep researching, writing, and sharing- I love the thought. You, my dear reader, can help me greatly by sharing my site with others, and in turn, I will also be doing my best to help others too. I love to promote others; if I read some great information somewhere, I am absolutely obliged to pass it on to the next person. We are all in this together; there is more than enough for everyone to have a decent sized piece of the pie. We can all help each other. Treat others as you want to be treated. That’s a great way to live. 

    Although I am quite limited in what I can directly state here, I can imply it to you- so please read between the lines: The advertising on my website is here because I chose for it to be so (remember what I said about that guy 2 paragraphs back?), and for a good reason. When my readers follow through on a product or company they see here that they are interested in, it benefits all. You came to my site because you had interest in what I have to say, and could end up with a great product, also. Did you comprehend? 🤣 It’s a win-win. But I am also interested in providing information to others like me, who are looking for that ‘flexible job’ to supplement their income. I want YOU to know that it’s really not that difficult to set up- what interests you? What could you write about and share with others? I’ve read about people making a GREAT living doing this- $500,000 a year sounds like a pretty sweet income to me! How long until I get there? Will I ever get there? Will you? Who knows? I don’t know about you, but I am going to set myself up to try. I have the desire and am willing to put in the time and effort. Are you? And if it’s not for you, maybe you can think about possibly sharing the idea with someone you know who could benefit from it. Who knows, maybe they will do SO well with it, that they’ll remember you when those big checks start rolling in! Worth a shot, yes? You betcha. Good luck, whatever road you are journeying on, friend.

        ….Funny, as much as I love writing (can you tell yet?), there were actually a few moments last night when I worried about what I could and would put on this website. I scoured my brain for ideas that I could write about. Silly woman. I’ve already written a WHOLE BOOK! Article after article is already written, in files, on my computer. Ready to go. I have only to open them up and edit them. Needless worrying. And the best part is that all of that information that I will be sharing will help to get my business rolling along. I will get into all of that in future posts. I can’t wait to start getting this site REALLY going.

    Please check back often for new, hopefully interesting, dare I say EXCITING?! content. Thank you for all of your time. God bless you!!


Sincerely yours,





Disclosure: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.

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